Over- Possessiveness in a Relationship

Love makes us possessive this is a human trait. To be possessive about your partner is not a crime or to be ashamed off. There is a fine line of understanding, over-possessiveness may be damaging to a relationship or vice versa.  Some partners like it when their spouse is possessive about them. For them, it’s a proof of the love and care, while on the other hand there are a few people who feel suffocation and lack of freedom.

Reflect, slow down before your nature kills the relationship. Everyone needs personal space. Deep down in your gut you may be possessive because you love and care, but if don’t distance yourself and your feelings you will lose the person you love the most. Remember, that you cannot make any love. Be true to your own self, don’t seek or expect too much in return.

In the initial days of romance and novelty we like everything about our partner, but over-familiarity may bring in contempt.  A chance to dominate and control another person. Negativity creeps into the relationship. Always remember that relationships are built on trust and a degree of freedom and space is expected by both the partners and if this trust and freedom is threatened, relationships start going down the drain. Relationships are built on mutual respect. Respecting your partners, opinions, and their decisions. A concept of sharing feelings and actions without the fear of an aggressive fight.This will result in better understanding.

Overbearing and control may make your partner feel ‘caged’ and suffocated. No one likes to be dictated by another person what to wear, what to eat, who to talk to, what to say, how to walk, etc… But frankly, over-possessiveness has no place in a healthy relationship which is built on mutual love or trust.  If you ask me, I would say that the person who is over possessive is highly insecure.  Over possessiveness cannot be construed as love. “I care about you so I dictate to you.” This can translate that I do not trust your judgement to conduct yourself as “I deem fit” my values and my moral character — a sign of my huge ego. “You love me, prove that you do.”   Here I do not care about my partner’s feelings or freedom. This type of behavior forces the other person to re-think and reconsider whether to go further in a relationship with such dominating person.

Talk to your partner if you see signs of over possessiveness. Discuss the issues and bring about a change for the better. Keep your lines of communication open. You value the relationship, give time for changes, improvement. Remember you have to earn respect or trust. This cannot be built in a small time-frame. It’s easy to break a relationship and move on but to create a better bonding takes time and understanding. But if your efforts do not work move on. But if your efforts pay off then reciprocates their love.

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